Monthly Archives: Desember 2008

In The Wee Small Hours of The Morning

In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think of counting sheep

When your lonely heart has learned it’s lesson
You’d be hers if only she would call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That’s the time you miss her most of all

03.30 WITA saya terbangun dan tidak bisa tidur lagi. Memasuki kesendirian, perasaan aneh di dada  itu muncul lagi. Kali ini datang dengan tiba-tiba.  Menghancurkan saya perlahan-lahan

Ya, perasaaan aneh di dada itu muncul lagi. Apakah ini sakit hati atau hanya rindu yang amat sangat. Saya sendiripun tidak bisa membedakan, yang jelas saya kesulitan menghadapinya. Apalagi saat (mengutip tulisan Goenawan Mohamad) malam sudah tidak bisa disebut malam tapi pagi belum datang.

Saya terdiam sejenak, mengikuti irama terompet chris botti ditambah dengan lengkingan suara sting,

in the wee small hours of the morning that’s the time you miss her most of all….

Iklan

12/12/2008

It was sacred day for me, the day I changed. The day that really shattered me into pieces. The day God Himself challenged me.

It happened when it was raining. While i was browsing the internet, this silly idea popped-up into my mind. I understand I violated someone’s privacy but I did it instead, and it absolutely changed my life.  Suddenly a bolt of lightning struck me, myself trembling, my heart was beating really fast, Adrenalin pumped out, anger dominate myself,  I kept denying (this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening). I could see myself from above,  sitting in front of my laptop, shaking my head, helpless.

As I read closely, I assured myself  It happened and there’s nothing you can do.  I walked around my neighborhood in the middle of the rain trying to figure out what i am gonna do next. I let anger settled down to think considering anger  could clouds mind. Then after settled, I decided to make a call to confirm, I really wanted explanation.

I made a phone call, and all I got was denial, no truth, no honesty, nothing you expected from someone really precious in your life. That night, I couldn’t sleep, I was lost in my mind, adrift at sea of thoughts. Something beautiful that i’ve been trying to built and protect was just a waste. I thought it was strong. I came to realize that it was fragile and broken inside.

I thought I could move on, but I couldn’t. I was trying to cry but I couldn’t, I was trying to keep myself occupied, again I couldn’t.  This thing is already rooted inside. It takes time to  pull out all of the roots. When you were used to share all things with someone -sweet or bitter-, it’s really hard when you realized that’s nobody around, there you are alone, left behind, struggling to make it through.

When the hard times comes,  I couldn’t do anything, there’s a strange feeling inside your chest that made you feel helpless. But i realized, hard times are bound to get easier in time.  Yes, time could heal almost everything. Time will also tell the truth. I know there’s nothing I can do, All I have to do just go on with my life.

I thanked God for challenging me to give up my dreams. In the end, I hope I could look back, and grateful for what happened as I’m turning to be a better person. And someday Insya Allah, I will tell my story to someone I love and give them advice. Probably it would sound like this

“Think before you act, try never hurts feelings of someone you love the most as  it will ruin both life (you and the one you hurt). If you’re hurt,  Just be strong, because only time will heal. But if you hurt someone. Deal with the consequences and go on with your life, never look back as it would hurt you even more”

Bubur ayam a la Makassar

Mumpung weekend ini saya gak  diminta lembur,  Saya melakukan hal yang sudah lama gak dilakukan yaitu bangun siang!!

Walopun akhirnya saya cuma mampu tidur sampe jam 7 pagi (jam biologis memaksa saya bangun jam 5 pagi) ,  saya tetep menikmatinya. Setelah bangun, daripada mengerjakan sesuatu yang rutin, contohnya mandi, Saya malah ingin ngerjain sesuatu yang gak pernah saya kerjain kalo lagi kerja yaitu cari sarapan pagi.  Saya mau makan bubur ayam. Saya ingat di daerah Bontang baru ada warung yang jual bubur ayam, Saya memutuskan untuk berangkat. Tapi sebelum sarapan, beli bensin dulu takut harga bensin naek lagi.

Saya membayangkan bubur ayam a la bandung dengan cakwe, potongan-potongan ayam, telor,  ati ayam, kulit ayam, dengan kerupuk segunung.

Ternyata yang datang adalah sop nasi lembek (bahasa saya), bubur yang dibanjiri kuah sop, potongan perkedel, potongan ayam, dan telur, dan (ini yg saya sesali) gak ada kerupuk. kira-kira penampakannya seperti ini

bubur a la mengkassar

Saya ingat, di Kantor, Saya pernah disuguhi bubur jenis ini. Mungkin saya salah, Saya menamakan ini bubur ayam a la Makassar, karena Saya makan di warung Makassar. Rasanya? mmm, menurut saya, gak ada makanan yang gak enak. Saya sih menikmati aja makan bubur ayam jenis ini walopun tetep kangen bubur ayam a la Bandung apalagi kalo makannya bareng sama teman2 (ya elah bilang aja kangen temen-teman, bukan kangen bubur, hehe)

Mumpung weekend ini gak lembur, abis makan bubur saya mau nonton Shawshank Redemption hasil donlotan kemaren. Betapa senangnya punya weekend, walopun sepi karna tak ada teman dan menjomblo. hehehehe